The best place to start is here. In the Gestalt thinking. I bought a house on Thursday, July 28th, 2011, with my husband. Yes, I word this sentence very interestingly. My husband and I have the following roles: I work a paying job, he works a non-paying job. Some days, perhaps like today, I like our roles. Other days, when I'm stressed out financially, I revert to thinking that a Man needs the paying job and the Woman needs a non paying job. What is it that makes me do this? There is an answer for that: When times get tough, the grass is greener on the other side. I almost always worry about money and I would really like to stop...As a matter of fact, I am currently, in this instant, worrying about money. I am constantly developing budgets and reviewing what needs to be paid, however I NEVER check the bank account. I ask my husband to check the actual amount of money in the account. My husband's outlook of money is: it will work out, no need to stress. I can't help, but to be cynical and throw out random, and not so random, tragedies that may occur and leave us without. In all of this thinking and worrying, I still bought a house... Irrational right?
Most people would describe me as rational, on task, perhaps even maticulous, sharp, and well rounded. My husband would, however, describe me as irrational, cynical, worrysome, nagging, and, my favorite, MEAN. All of the qualities that my husband gets to see, I really wish to be able to integrate into my work. They are qualities, whether they are perceived as positive or negative. I do not stand up for myself, that can be accounted by my last job where I spent 3 years and 7 months. This inability to stand up for myself is a huge deficit that keeps me in the constant state of worry. In the days to come, I am sure that I will have different types of entries, mostly rational or irrational......